Coaching, Training & Consultancy

Learning that lasts a lifetime

1. Fear of Failure.

Coming in at number 1 fear of failure is what keeps us chained to jobs that we outgrew many moons ago and swimming in ever decreasing circles in the metaphoric muddy puddle of life.  Instead of listening to the fear fueled, risk averse, half whispers of the mind consider what you stand to gain by taking a leap into unknown crystal clear waters. When we look back it’s often things that we didn’t do rather than things we did do that fills our heart with regret.

2. Fear of Success

I know I know, not an obvious contender for this’ hide your light’ competition but this curiously elusive fear maybe the blackout curtains in your house of potential.  A close cousin to fear of change, fear of success stops us from getting off the starting blocks by convincing us that success is bad and that successful people are arrogant, annoying and smug. And they are probably only successful because they are ambitious, egotistical Napoleons hell bent on stepping over their own granny if they need to or indeed shoving her off the bus, in order to feed their all-consuming greed. With this programme running in your mind you’re unlikely to take the actions necessary to create you own success story. Consider what successful means to you what if any successful role models you base this on?

 

3 Fear of Outshining

Like having too much Self Esteem, fear of outshining can be a little tricky to get your head around and yet it could be another thief of your golden light.  Sometimes we keep ourselves small for fear that we may outshine a partner or a sibling and stand the risk of losing a loving connection.  As a child of around 8 my mother told me that I was not allowed to play chess with my brother anymore because if I beat him it would damage his self-confidence. At 8 the idea that I had the power to damage my brothers self-confidence by playing chess was alarming.  I wanted my mother to love me and I didn’t want to damage my brother so I gave up something I was good at. In my 8-year-old mind I decided that shining at something would mean casting shadows on others and losing love. In my 39-year mind I know that my light doesn’t cast shadows, it illuminates the darkness. I also know that love has it’s own GPS and like Ob1kenobe disappears only to return in another more powerful form. Apologies for anyone born after 1980 who has no idea what I am talking about.

 

 

4. Fear that I’ll discover I’m not that talented, interesting or capable.

Underachievement can feel soft and warm and sticky, not unlike, no never mind. The thing is its comfortable, familiar and from your brain’s perspective you’re not going to get eaten by a saber tooth tiger sitting on the sofa watching Britain’s Got Talent. (Neither will you be nurturing any of your own talents, mind you). Light thief number 4 will have you exaggerating your gifts in your mind but crucially never putting yourself in the situation where you could actually develop them. So I will use the truth here like a trusty torch to enlighten you to the fact that underneath fear number 4  you have a perfect set of innate qualities as unique as your fingerprint.    Innate talent + 10,000 hours = mastery.  How much time will you invest in your talent, gift or passion?

 

I hope you’ve found this helpful. Let me know your thoughts insights or imaginings. Always delighted to hear from you.

 

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